HI. MY NAME IS JIM
My name is Jim and
I’m an alcoholic. I also happen to be in prison serving a life sentence for killing
someone while in a blackout.
I had many signs
of what drinking could do, which I ignored. My grandparents and parents were all
alcoholics. I saw how they behaved, and I swore up and down that I’d never drink and
be like them. Well, I did drink, and I became much worse than they ever thought of being.
From the first
drink to my last, drinking was nothing but trouble for me. I loved the taste, the way
alcohol made me feel, and the courage (although it was false) it gave to me. Looking back,
I lost everything that was ever important to me. It didn’t take too long before
trouble caught up with me. Once I was in an accident that almost took my life.
But not once did I wake up and say "Hey, Jim, What’s wrong with you? Why
are you doing these things and ending up in places like this? Why don’t you finish
your education or learn a trade?"
And not once did I
ever blame booze. I always blamed people, places and things. It couldn't be
the booze, because booze was my one and only friend.
I
always found a way to get that drink. I always justified it by saying, "If anyone
deserves a drink, it’s me. Look at what I’ve just gone through." Blackouts
were common occurrences with me. But I just blew them off as something normal that happens
to people - drunk or sober.
This last time I
ended up in jail and when I was released I did what was normal: I picked up a drink. But
it lead to a drunken binge that would ruin a lot of people’s lives, because during
that drunken binge I went into a total blackout, got into a fight, and killed a man.
Justice was swift.
I got a life sentence for second-degree murder. And when I walked into the State Prison
and heard those doors slamming behind me, I thought that my life was over, that I might as
well just lie down and die.
I now know that I
had lost everything because of drinking.
In this time, I
have grown up and accepted responsibility for want I have done. And I have joined
the AA program, which has given me a life that I only dreamed of but never thought was for
me.
All I can do is to
tell you what alcohol did to me, and suggest that you stay away from it... and if you
can't, then reach out for help before it's too late.
A life is a
terrible thing to waste... especially if its your own!
--- Jim W.
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